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The evil GanonDong has imprisoned Princess Zildo, who tells him that he will have no hope against the big-dicked elf hero, Dink. As he listens to his music playlist, he is interrupted by the Great Deku Tree who warns him that his time has come, and Dink is entrusted with the Masturbator Sword and the company of the fairy Vagi. Dink doesn't waste time, knowing that the breaking of the pots is finally legal in Hyrule!